A Guide to Talk Dating Like a Generation Z: 51 Hyperspecific Words for Love, Intimacy and Questionable Conduct

The current period marks a full decade since the word “vanishing” entered the public consciousness. Initially, the idea that someone could suddenly stop communication with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the pinnacle of rudeness. Our innocence was charming. In the ten-year span since, finding a partner has only become more bewildering – an frequently pointless exercise in awkwardness that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media lingo.

Zoomers, a generation who grew up during a social isolation crisis, a masculinity reckoning, and a widespread assault on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a far messier environment than their millennial predecessors could ever envision. And so their romantic lexicon has grown more extensive and more bizarre, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” straining the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

Below is a detailed breakdown to the phrases Zoomers is using to navigate romance, intimacy and the search of both. To echo one of the year’s most enduring online sayings, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll ache to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

A

Authenticity – In the view of gen Z, romance's ultimate goal is presenting as your real, raw self. Good luck with that!

B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon connected to a framework developed by relationship scientists, in which you bring up something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your partner’s response is inquisitive or disinterested. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Independent partner – Zoomers' response to the “manic pixie dream girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend puts herself first while radiating enigma and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have that fringe.)

C

Support test – This refers to seeking out someone who supports you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would get a chair for you to sit down.

Choremance – A date where two people form a link while running errands, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke people in their 20s do budget-friendly romance in a post-cheap-date world.

Melting down – Losing it when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or split, dumping all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a symbol of 1980s young urban professional excess, it refers to pairs who forgo having children to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of acting aloof: practicing communication, honesty and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Signals

• Danger signals – Personal habits signaling a prospective partner is bad news. Examples include calling their exes crazy, poor gratuity habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Good indicators – These actions confirm your choice to date a mate. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, low phone use, owning a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These usually describe specific, largely harmless idiosyncrasies. Such as being an keen birdwatcher, still carrying around a biro in their wallet, paying rent in cash …

Shared obsession pairing – When you meet someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the WWII or physical media hoarding or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who loathes the same stuff or individuals that you do (nothing builds intimacy faster than sharing a common enemy).

G

Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend is into.

Ghostlighting – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of disappearing.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and loyal. The rare boyfriend who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online subculture of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt marathon sessions, deliberately delaying orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An archetype championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily home-oriented, who apparently has no ambitions of her own other than pleasing her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Arbitrary and usually everyday dealbreakers that immediately extinguish any sense of attraction.

“He would if he cared" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an incredibly sweet act.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal partner: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd seek out partners in sectors they believe are being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, teachers or therapists.

K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has been around for 16m years. But the days of kissing may be limited since some Zoomers desire fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy authentic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more important than it is. Also known as {